hy·po·carn·dri·ac

"davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com" (davesaddiction) 08/04/2016 at 09:16 • Filed to: None

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1. a person who is abnormally anxious about their car’s health. —Hypocarndriasis, also known as hypocarndria, or automotive health anxiety disorder, refers to worry about one’s automobile having a serious issue. This debilitating condition is the result of an inaccurate perception of the condition of one’s automotive systems despite the absence of an actual problem. An individual suffering from hypocarndriasis is known as a hypocarndriac. Hypocarndriacs become unduly alarmed about any symptoms they detect by unusual sounds or vibrations, no matter how minor the symptom may be, and are convinced that their automobile has, or is about to be diagnosed with, a serious problem.

Often, hypocarndria persists even after a mechanic has evaluated an automobile and reassured the owner that their concerns about symptoms do not have an underlying mechanical or electrical basis or, if there is a issue, their concerns are far in excess of what is appropriate for the level of the problem. Many hypocarndriacs focus on a particular symptom as the catalyst of their worrying, such as a rattle, a squeak, or a slight, occasional squeal. To qualify for the diagnosis of hypocarndria the symptoms must have been experienced for at least 6 months, and the condition seems to be more common for owners of Italian, British or German automobiles.

Hypocarndria is often characterized by fears that minor symptoms may indicate a serious mechanical problem, constant examination and diagnosis (sometimes in the middle of the night), and a preoccupation with one’s automobile. Many individuals with hypocarndriasis express doubt and disbelief in the mechanics’ diagnosis, and report that any mechanics’ reassurance about an absence of a serious issue is unconvincing, or short-lasting. Additionally, many hypocarndriacs experience elevated blood pressure, stress, and anxiety in the presence of mechanics or while occupying a automotive shop, a condition known as “blue shirt syndrome”. Many hypocarndriacs require constant reassurance, either from mechanics, family, or friends, and the disorder can become a disabling torment for the individual with hypocarndriasis, as well as his or her family and friends. Some hypocarndriacal individuals completely avoid any reminder of illness, whereas others frequently visit automotive shops, sometimes obsessively. Other victims of this disease will never speak about it.

EL_ULY > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/04/2016 at 09:27

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aka every Mercedes CLA/GLA customer we get in lol :]

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/04/2016 at 09:27

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Me irl

DylanToback > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/04/2016 at 09:30

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I have a truly crippling case of this. That said, I have owned several old BMWs and a Mini, so I usually was not wrong about the presence of a problem.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > EL_ULY 08/04/2016 at 09:32

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I knew you’d be well aware of this condition, Uly!

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 08/04/2016 at 09:32

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I should have added a poll...

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > DylanToback 08/04/2016 at 09:32

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Where there’s smoke...

EL_ULY > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/04/2016 at 09:40

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you nailed it doe. Poor tech will spend hours (not getting paid) trying to find that “noise” then the customer replies with, “well, it only happened once last month”

functionoverfashion > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/04/2016 at 09:41

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See also: recent article on BMW engines and their propensity for catastrophy.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > EL_ULY 08/04/2016 at 09:43

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Not getting paid? Ain’t no one got time for that...

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > functionoverfashion 08/04/2016 at 09:43

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See also: the BMW with a noisy, high-strung engine in my garage

EL_ULY > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/04/2016 at 09:46

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unless you replace a part to get an operation code for warranty pay. If not... ZERO!

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > EL_ULY 08/04/2016 at 09:48

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Man, I didn’t even think about that with cars still under warranty! Suuucks...

EL_ULY > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/04/2016 at 09:54

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New cars and CPO cars are the worst for hypocarndriasm.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/04/2016 at 10:01

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Every Land Rover owner EVA!

jariten1781 > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/04/2016 at 10:06

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I’m generally ok...unless I smell coolant. That slight sweet smell sends me into full on panic mode. Even riding an air cooled bike if I smell it the adrenaline starts pumping, heart rate sky rockets, and I just start staring at the gauge cluster more than the road. It's a terrible condition to have but I've been burned (one time literally) too many times by cars with failing cooling systems.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/04/2016 at 10:08

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This is another reason why I bought a Miata. I am neurotic when it comes to random unexplainable smells and sounds while driving around. Thankfully, I know this car is not going to explode and is quite reliable, so I am put at ease. But there will always be random sounds that I will be like WHAT IS THAT??

For example, I have a loose heat shield on the bottom of my car. My mind decided it was my fuel pump making sound for all sorts of dumb reasons. Until the issue got worse, then I realized what it was and felt rather stupid.

I am just glad I don’t have an old german car that is constantly threatening to overheat or something. Because then I would just have health issues or something lol.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) 08/04/2016 at 10:29

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Know thyself.

There is definitely something about driving a reliable Japanese car that puts those doom & gloom thoughts out of your head! We were a two Mazda family for a while, but I moved on to a BMW and my wife just got an Acura.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > jariten1781 08/04/2016 at 10:30

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Haha - a Pavlovian response!

functionoverfashion > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/04/2016 at 11:16

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haha, or the TWO high-mileage BMWs in my driveway.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > functionoverfashion 08/04/2016 at 11:25

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Totally worth it.

Noah - Now with more boost. > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 08/04/2016 at 15:33

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Yeah that’s me. I’ll be over here, sniffing my engine bay and freaking out over every random noise. I had a big rock stuck in my treads on the way to this first date I had last week - I was pretty sure it was a rock but was still so worried about it that my concern over the noise totally eclipsed my pre date nerves haha

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Noah - Now with more boost. 08/04/2016 at 16:07

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Haha - I was leaving a friend’s house yesterday and rolled over some small branches that made a terrible noise. I was pretty certain it was branches, but called him anyway to ask him if he thought the sound was a branch and not my car... It’s a sickness, for sure.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > functionoverfashion 08/08/2016 at 10:12

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YOLO, right? =) http://oppositelock.kinja.com/laps-hallett-w…